It’s been a minute. Thousands of miles. 6 moves? Hell I’ve lost count.

A swipe right, pandemic, and a wedding later since I’ve talked with y’all in this forum. 

I’ll be honest, there have been days where I’ve pined for my old blogger days but I was convinced I had forgotten to write. Like I felt so distant from the days of typing out my real thoughts that I was horribly anxious I wouldn’t be able to show up even if I tried. But that’s the beauty in showing up I guess, showing up is success in itself. At least that’s what my youth soccer coach told my parents when I chased butterflies.

Now back to the present day. How about that crazy ride into 2022? Remember how we all started to actually watch the news? Remember meeting in parks just to see each others beautiful faces? Remember zoom happy hours we initially found so novel and niche – and then so shortly after hated and often triggered PTSD? Ah the roaring 20’s!

Quick update on location, I live in Nashville now with my … HUSBAND. Yeah. I did it. KB got married. What a wild thing this life is. But also what a complete and utter delight.

When I told my husband I was a writer he was pretty surprised. But that’s what happens when you meet two weeks before March 15, 2020. You quarantine, fall in love, try to not get sick, and all while developing a new paranoia for touching elevator buttons. I still use my elbow because now I know too much.

This time will be different. A little more grown up. Way more dry…think Whispering Angel. And, dare I say, possibly funnier?

Also different this time is my darling tagline…. “Everything I Couldn’t Get Out In Time”

I’ve said for years this would be the name of my stand up comedy show when I make it as a big shot actor and beloved American royalty. Yet when you suffer from severe stuttering, stand up comedy often takes a back seat. Enter stage left however- the ability to write. Because as I ALSO often say,

God has to keep things fair.

You know what God also has to do? Keep us humble. Just when I think my stuttering scenarios are behind me, he throws me for a real curve ball during a big marketing meeting during my time working for a doughnut company.

I was crushing it. Strategy you ask? Right here Chad. Profit targets Karen? Let me show you slide 7.

However I came up against one word and the world, along with my speaking abilities… stopped.

You see when you have a stuttering episode, you can sometimes repeat the part of the word you’re stuck on for about 20-30 seconds. Those 20-30 seconds are hell. Because your mind is fully taking in what’s going on and your eyes are just watching these poor people wonder, is she broken?

The culprit in this particular episode? The word REVENUE. I literally could not get passed the “rev” part. So here I am, on zoom, on camera saying “rev” every breath while my brain springs into action.

Kristin. Do not move. Act like this was a computer glitch and not a mortifying moment in your marketing career. Act swiftly. Turn off the meeting.

And that’s exactly what I did. Bouncing back onto the call allegedly unfazed and annoyed,

“Gosh our internet is so bad my computer froze and I was stuck!! Can you believe?!”

Spoiler alert. No one believed but my coworkers are kind and I only got about 2 slack messages asking me what tripped me up about the word revenue.

My reply was and is always the same when my speech issues surprise me,

God had to make things fair. I can’t be great at everything Cheryl.

And that’s kind of like the last two years I guess in a nutshell. The highs and lows of surviving a pandemic. The reality that while everyday hasn’t been a thrill ride or a complete delight – there have been pockets where the lows have made me so appreciative of the chasing butterflies highs. Sure I can’t say the word revenue without some severe mental build up. And sure the pandemic robbed so many of us of the lives we thought were perfect and unchangeable. But here we are still standing. Fake computer glitches, happy hour zooms, and all.

It feels good to be back writing to you and I’m sorry I was gone for so long. But I’ve learned a lot, saw a lot, and overheard even more. I’m happy I’m back and I can’t wait to chat.

kbo.

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